BFFs since age 7, we’ve been warping each other for more than 30 years now. We both turn 40 this summer, *SOB*, and we’re occasionally accused of sharing a brain. (Theresa’s husband is fond of asking, “When do YOU get to use it, honey?”) At any rate, we have the same deranged sense of humor, dedication to letting other women know they are not alone, and desire to create a community of people with a fucked-up sense of humor.
Kerstin (in the picture above, the hottie on the right):
I am a mother of three kids, ages 9, 7 and 5. The 2 oldest are girls, the “baby” is the boy. I have been married for 10 years. I have a warped sense of humor. I am what some people would call a “pessimist.” I prefer the term “realist.” I am addicted to coffee, and I may be in love with my new cappuccino machine. Don’t tell my husband. I like to use big words. I also like to use words that I make up, and Anglo-isms. By “anglo-isms” I mean I like to use British terms, like “bollocks” and “cheeky.” But make no mistake, I am an American. I use bad swears. Sometimes, I might offend people, by accident or design. I am pretty apathetic, but sometimes I will get up on my soap box about something. When I do, I have been known to DESTROY people. I quote and reference A LOT of tv shows and movies. I use the term “a lot” even though it is not grammatically correct. I am usually right about stuff 95% of the time, even if it can be proven that I am wrong. I love my family, no matter how much I might bitch about them. And I thank you for checking out our blog and our Facebook page!
Theresa (in the picture above, chick with red glasses on the left):
Mother of 2 girls, Faerie Child, age 9, and La Diva, 6. Married 14 years. I am an eternal optimist. I WOULD constantly be telling Kerstin to quit being such a downer, except that she’s funny when she’s bitter, and I value my entertainment over her mental well-being.
I have 4 brothers, and I am SMACK in the middle. I PRAYED for girls. Nay, begged and bargained with the Universe for girls. I LOVE being awash in a world of pink and purple–yet I am not really a girlie girl. I hate shopping and don’t care what I wear as long as it’s clean and contributes to the illusion of slimness.
AND–prepare yourselves for my personal mission statement here–I am SOOOO sick of women turning motherhood into a freakin’ competition. I don’t give a shit when your kid potty-trained, learned to read, cured cancer, or brokered peace in the Middle East. Stop lying about how perfect your life is. You’re totally pissing me off. If you’re one of THOSE moms, you’re at the wrong blog. Go. Now. You are not welcome here.
IF, however, you recognize that parenting is a grueling ultra-marathon, and we’re all in this together, WELCOME! Can’t wait to hear from you